Don't Ignore the Dark Side. Image from Microsoft's artificial intelligence, Prompt by the author
"I want to live a meaningful life. I don't want to endure toxic circumstances and lose my soul, my distinct mark, or My emotional bond to the universe. I desire so much—yet now, I'm depressed with self-destructive behavior, trying to heal through meditation, over-reading, and workaholism.
I want this to come to an end.
But how?"
This was my state in April 2014, two and a half years into a ceaseless melancholy, before I tried LSD for the first time. It was an alien, Non-regulated Treatment—a gateway to new realms of consciousness and understanding.
What I Expected from the Journey
Can a substance, classified as a drug and sold on the black market, genuinely help me face reality instead of avoiding it?
My first introduction to LSD occurred during my youth when I read a book titled "Drugs and the Educated Youth," which was translated into Arabic.
I have not been able to find an equivalent for it in English.
The book was written by British researcher Colin Wilson, who specializes in metaphysics.
The book piqued my interest.
For my generation, born in the early 1980s, Wilson's works were popular among the general public, and many translations addressed spiritual seekers outside traditional religious frameworks.
Despite his contributions, he was loathed by Egypt's intellectual elite of the time, especially Marxist publishers, who dismissed him as a British intelligence agent spreading superstitions to distract third-world societies from socio-economic struggles.
What struck me in that small book was its connection between LSD hallucinations, creativity, and the awe of existence.
This trifecta was deeply intriguing.
What stood out to me most about Wilson's approach was how LSD hallucinations were framed as an outlet for creative curiosity about the universe, aligning them with the legacy of poets and artists known for their experimental vision.
A Turning Point
At that time, I hadn't yet read about the hippie movement or learned about medical efforts to legitimize LSD as a treatment for depression.
My interest in LSD emerged when I Googled "illegal drugs with therapeutic effects for depression." That search led me to discussions on Quora and Reddit, marking my first encounters with these platforms.
The openness and depth with which people shared their experiences fascinated me. Here, topics like drug use—taboo in public discourse—were discussed with ease and insight.
My quest for LSD eventually connected me with a poet friend who introduced me to Jasser, my spiritual guide for four years. Jasser taught me how to use substances like LSD responsibly without addiction or negatively impacting my professional life.
Is your Context So Different?
Western societies often glorify work, infusing it with a cheap sense of emotional and spiritual fulfillment.
But is this mindset truly so different from the Arab environment where I live?
Do you disagree?
Find Your Context
Who are you? What do you want to achieve? Are you satisfied with your work and relationships?
My research had taught me to distrust official institutions, especially those in psychiatry and neurology, which seemed more invested in profit than expanding our consciousness or enriching our lives.
My journey was to find an aesthetic, artistic, and spiritual framework that could also be therapeutic—for myself and others.
If you're trapped in a toxic, soulless, manipulative family environment, traditional solutions may fail you.
Don't Ignore the Dark Side
Regardless of whether it's through LSD trips or other experiences, keep in mind that we exist in a third-dimensional world. Every remarkable individual carries a shadow, and every extraordinary experience has its darker facets.
Many have faced this in our pursuit of excellence—sacrificing small everyday delights for rigid discipline or grand goals. For some, these sacrifices strip life down to a single purpose, often at the cost of its richness.
LSD-induced hallucinations come with their price.
The question remains: Is living a life of depth and meaning worth the sacrifices it demands?
Or, if you'd prefer, forget this question and seek your personal question.
Happy trip!